£térñàl §í£éñçè

Hate.

You know, I've had a resolution to not hate anyone. But this guy, he really qualifies for it.

How it happened-

Oh it was a bright and sunny morning. Until that old fucktard had to go and book a slot to meet me during recess. And for what freaking reason? He had no reason to.

Recess.-
So I went to find him la! I didn't expect anything what. Instead guess what? I get KPKB-ed at becuase I failed my biweekly. And he ask me why I fail. What a fucker. Does anyone have a freaking model answer to that question? Anyone? I need to borrow your template! No? Oh well. Wtf. So what is his problem?

Let me ask you. Why you failed something. Would anyone do it on purpose? No? Then what does he expect me to answer? That I'm a smart ass who can't do chinese?

Bloody hell. If I wanted to fail. I would have walked in the footsteps of Derek and use that time for my beauty sleep. That would result in a 0, wouldn't it? And I got a 18. So I tried. So what is his problem? He isn't happy because I tried? Fine then I shall NOT try at all. This would simply mean, I skipping the retest tomorrow. Come and chase me.

SO WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, HENG GUEK BOON? DO YOU HAPPEN TO BE TROUBLED BY THE FACT THAT I CAN'T ACHIEVE MY FULL POTENTIAL TOO? THEN JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME BE.

Duties.

So.. Just because you teachers have duties means that you should fufil them? Do you truthfully swear that it comes from the bottom of your heart? And that you really want to help the students? From the look of it, I think it's more of a money situation. No? I can truthfully swear that some teachers teach out of the love for teaching.

So.. I have my "duties" as a student. Why accomplish them? When you can simply ignore them altogether. I'm a rebel without a cause. Those who don't follow are bound to lead. I don't have to lead to be an effective anarchist.

Posted by kj at 8:23 PM | Permalink

Current status.
Insane.
I'll tell you why.

Today I got to school 1 hour earlier than what I usually reach school. Guess what I did in that spare time?

1. Run around waving and saying "hi!" to everyone I meet, mainly outside my classroom. During the hall thingy.. My form tutor ask me to keep quiet.. I just merely nodded, smiled and waved at her. Saying "hi!" Already over the edge, don't you think?
2. Run around the whole sec 4 block.. Checking out all the classrooms.. Walked by 401/2. Then saw them playing daidee. Guess what I did? Ran to the HoL Office. Told Sirhan about it.. Then start proclaiming that I'm a good boy! loLZ!.
3. Talking subconciously. Few examples.. Teacher asked a hearing impaired student a question.. And because he was talking like he didn't know what was going on.. I said.. "ohh.. lalalala! I can't hear you.. What's that you said?" And i almost got sent out for that. Guess what? I blurted that out without thinking. Very unlike me. Another example. Teacher ask me can or not.. I say can.. But i don't know can what. LolZ!!
4.banging tables! Whee.
5. Oh. And saying You're welcome for everyone who forgets their manners. Naughty boys and girls.

I do imagine the 6 sided cells of woodbridge hospital to be more comfortable that school! lolZ.. The only problem is that I'd be lonely.. Hey.. Anyone wanna accompany me on an excursion to woodbridge? A permanent excursion that is.

Posted by kj at 9:39 PM | Permalink

Expectations

"I certainly know that you are capable of acheiving more than what you're giving.." -Mrs Amy chua [She can teach for nuts man. She proclaims that E-maths is a simple subject. But guess what? Before Mr lam came in to take over form her in sec 3.. Our class was doing crap. Wensheng, from a total failure to a 2nd in class. Guess what? You suck]
"You are a very smart boy, kokjin.. I do know you are capabale of what i expect.. So why do blah blah blah" - Ms Roselind Matthiews. [Ah well she isn't that bad.. But still.. Could you just leave me alone and stop buggering me about getting good results blah blah blah]
"Can you be a good boy this year? I know you can. " Sirhan. HoL. Wtf is your problem man?!?! I don't want to be a good boy. I'm a freaking rebel without a cause. Change me if you can! Catch me if you can!

And they aren't the only few.

The teachers won't just leave me alone, will they? They're always bugging me for giving sloppy work.. Laziness.. Why can't I? I'm privilleged to do so. So why not? Just simply because I have the potential to live up to their expectations doesn't mean I should. That doesn't give me a reason to live up to your expectations.

Look, it's not as if I don't know what I'm wasting over here. And that doesn't mean I should change. I can. I could. But will I? Why SHOULD I? I mean. It's my future. And not as if you're going to be any part of it. Not only that.. Being my teacher doesn't mean that you would be able to change the way I feel, the way I think. I'm still more superior that you. Why? Because I'm not under the direct order of the MoE yet! Ahahaha. I'm my ownself![Susceptible to change in the future]

Back to topic. Expectations. I don't see any real reason for you to impose your expectations on me. You're just worried about me being unable to fully achieve my potential.. Because you're under stress from your peers! Ahaha! Ahaha! To reinstate my point, I do what I want with my life. Of course. I fully pledge my loyalty to my mum and brothers.

The problem with it is that.. I DON'T WANT TO BE CONSTANT IN MY WORK. I want to slack whenever I want to. And do work whenever I want to! I know myself best! Me! Me! Me! So you think that if I start of the year bad.. I will remain that way so? You think I'm that stupid?

Conclusion, I will change. Only when I decide that the time is now. Secondly. Teachers are so contradictory. They accuse me of being smart. Yet they think that I'm stupid enough to have no care for my future.

Lastly, If you moronic teachers actually happen to come across this.. You should have been helluva enlightened by the fact that I don't do stuff simply because you're intimadating. I have my own reasons. So don't start thinking you're big.

Posted by kj at 9:39 PM | Permalink

You know.. I was thinking about birthday celebrations..

I feel it's so meaningless to be just celebrating for your own personal gains.. cake, presents and being one year older.. I feel that it's sort of too meaningless to actually celebrate it that way..

In my personal opinions, I do think instead of celebrating us, we should instead thank our parents for the fact that they have given us life and that all the things that they've done for us.. In the whole of our life. Simply put it, thank our parents for another year of being there for us.. =/

I know i know.. I'm not the sort who'd come up with such things.. But.. I dunno :)

Posted by kj at 9:24 PM | Permalink